His Angel: The Angel Trilogy Book One Read online

  “That was fucking,” he takes a deep breath. “amazing. Just fucking amazing.” He growls as his breath rushes out harshly with his words.

  As he ends his very satisfying comment he forces me down onto the bed, taking the control back. His body is over me, his eyes full of fire and darkness swimming in a pool of lust. I’ve never seen need like this before now, certainly not need for me and certainly not like this. I’m caught off guard. His lips curl into a smile; a very wicked smile, sending a shiver up my spine.

  My hands are held tightly above my head by Evan’s. His full thickness is at my entrance. Once again my senses are hyperaware to every touch, kiss, lick. Sparks threaten my nerve endings. My nipples harden, begging for his touch, his taste.

  “You are…amazing,” he growls.

  With that said his thick hard cock thrust forcefully into my own dripping pool of need. I scream from both shock and approval, the force opens me up immediately; his size is wanted. My body stretches and caresses him willingly. I imagine sex goddesses pulling him in deeper and crying out when he abandons them as he pulls out.

  His thrusts are hard and fierce; he’s taking his control over me. He’s fucking me into oblivion and there is nothing more in this world I crave. His lips crash over mine, the electricity it evokes leaves me unaware he has freed my hands as I unconsciously reach for his face. Suddenly his forceful pace slows as he pushes himself up to search my eyes.

  “There has never…” He shakes his head as if to clear the thought, taking my mouth into his again.

  Quickly rolling over he pulls me on top of him so that we are both in a sitting position eye for eye, sex for sex, touch for touch, and lick for lick. I don’t know where I end and he begins. The high I’m on is liberating; I am a weak girl in this moment. No, I willingly give myself to him to break, fix, and control.

  My body rises, leaving an absence. I lower as my wetness invites him in with its seduction. My sex has a mind of its own and its prey is Evan; every thick full inch of this glorious man invades me.

  Evan’s hands are on my heavy needy breasts as I push down hard and deliberate; I want to give him every ounce of pleasure I can. His hands quickly meet my ass pulling me in harder as I cry out.

  Sweat drips from our overheated bodies. I feel the edge come near as my clit rubs against him. I know right then and there this is it; the implosion is coming to claim me.

  “Keep looking at me,” he demands with a growl. “Together Abby.” This is a carnal need I’m more than willing to give him. He pulls me so forcefully I feel him in my belly.

  The world is gone, everything goes black. Fire burns through every nerve ending. Every demon we have swims to each other now, the connection is too much. His head follows to my neck, his mouth taking me in like he’s in search of his next meal.

  I drop my head to his shoulder in defeat. I have never felt such pleasure; it’s too much, too fast. A tear slips from its hiding place in the darkness and appears into the light.

  My world is disappearing. I’m not a helpless little girl anymore. I’m a woman, a woman that feels alive for the first time ever. He has me and I’m scared to death. I’m not ready for this. I most definitely am not ready for this. If I thought Marco leaving me was hard what would this be like? I will always want this, but this is too much.

  Evan’s hand rises to my chin, lifting my face to meet his eyes. “What is it? Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry…I don’t know what came over me.” His eyes are soft now that the darkness has washed away.

  I don’t know what to say. I want to run, to go home where my heart is safe. I believe in true love, but I never thought I would find it. Did I? Maybe my heart being connected with my vagina is the reason. Maybe I am safe, maybe the nostalgia will wash away like his darkness. My mouth won’t move to answer him, my eyes are the only means of communication I have. My heart leaps from my chest with force.

  “Abby?” He shakes me, he’s scared. He watches me like I’m in shock.

  The reality is, I’m on a high that’s never going to fall, not until he pops the balloon, and when he does my soul will crash to the ground and die. Shit, what have I done? I jump off of Evan, grabbing my clothes and run to the door on the other side of the room hoping it’s the bathroom.

  I turn the water on in the sink, leaning down to splash its coldness on my face.

  “Abby? What the hell is wrong?”

  Everything! I scream to myself. I want you so much I can’t stand it. Yeah that’s just what this god wants to hear. I’m falling in love with you and I’m going to fall. Let me tell him that and I’m sure he will take me home, but then I will be in my comfort zone. Yea I need that now. I don’t know what I’m even doing here.

  BANG. BANG.

  “Abby are you ok?” he yells, probably from worry now.

  “I’m fine, just give me a minute,” I hiss.

  “Ok,” he hesitates with a sigh.

  I have to go, I can’t stay. I need space to figure this out. I need to text Amy and ask for her to pick me up.

  Shit, two things are wrong with this. I don’t have my phone in here and I don’t know where it is. I press my palms on the cool tan granite sink, staring into the mirror.

  I don’t even recognize this girl. I’m disheveled, my fish braid is in a wadded mess on the side of my head, and my face is red and wet. But, that’s not what I see, not what I really see. I see that the loneliness I feel is becoming comfortable, it takes a front row seat in my life. It grabs hold to the seat not wanting to let go.

  I’m comfortable being alone? What the hell? Who wants to be alone?

  “Abby? Seriously, what the fuck is going on?” Evan demands, sounding upset now.

  He does seem worried, but I need to tread lightly because my heart is an hourglass and the sand is only a quarter of the way from the bottom since Marco left. If that spills over again I will have nothing; I will be completely empty.

  I inhale deeply knowing I can’t stay in this bathroom all night. Needing to get out of here I place my hand on the odd-looking metal doorknob, turning it slowly, hoping maybe he isn’t in the bedroom.

  I pad out of the bathroom and he isn’t here. Taking a relieving breath I pad to the chair my purse lies on searching for my phone. I need to text Amy.

  Abby: Hey, can you pick me up?

  Amy: What’s wrong???

  She answers quickly.

  Abby: I just need you to pick me up ok!

  This isn’t a question, but rather a demand.

  Amy: Address? Do I need to kick his ass?

  I don’t want her to worry or think badly of Evan, I just want to get out of here.

  Abby: I don’t know…hold on.

  I search Evan’s room for anything that may have his address on it so that I won’t need to ask him. If I’m honest I’m embarrassed, I’m acting like a child and I know it. I’m scared. I’m terrified.

  The room is immaculate; no disruption anywhere. Damn he’s a better housekeeper than I am and I’m totally OCD about it. I figure anything that may hold the information I need has to be in the drawers.

  The dresser only holds the usual: socks, boxer briefs. Even they are immaculate and folded in what looks like military style. I listen for Evan, but hear nothing so I continue.

  I pad over to the nightstand on the right side of the bed figuring I will find something that will help, or at least condoms or the usual male crap, but only a hardback book without a cover for identification is all I find.

  I quickly pad to the nightstand near the glass windows, opening it slowly, there are several pieces of paper and a metal picture frame. I shift through the items of paper and nothing. I shift the metal frame, dropping it to the hard wood floor making a loud crashing noise as it collides with the hard surface.

  “Shit,” I whisper, knowing Evan has to have heard that. I don’t want to be caught going through his stuff.

  I quickly grab the frame into my hands, checking the floor for broken glass. As I begin to turn it over, I’m
a little curious as to who is in the frame. I mean, who leaves a picture upside down in a drawer? Unless, you don’t want someone to see it. Oh shit. It occurs to me that this could be a girlfriend.

  I realize I only assumed that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Wow Abby you are such a genius, I tell myself, not amused with my own ignorance.

  “Abby?” Evan says from behind me. I jump, startled by his presence.

  “Sorry,” I breathe, knowing full well I’m totally busted.

  I place the frame in the drawer and quickly close it. “What are you doing?” I turn to Evan to get a feel for the depths of annoyance I hear in his voice.

  My eyes lock onto his, but there isn’t anything except…No, it can’t be. My heart thumps in my chest, knowing what I just saw isn’t real, not for me. He can’t feel that way for me, I think to myself, while not admitting what it is I’m seeing in his eyes.

  “Fuck it.” He pulls me into a colliding hold, crashing his lips to mine.

  This kiss is carnal and deeper, with more feeling, he’s giving a piece of himself, a real soul stomping kiss. He pulls back, leaving me empty as he searches my eyes.

  “Why did you run away?” he asks, cupping my cheek with his warm tan hand.

  I inhale deeply. I don’t know how or even if I can answer his question.

  “Abby…Damn it. What’s going on with you?” he demands.

  The dark cloud threatens to return, but only for a storm I don’t want to come. “Evan…This,” I wave my hand back and forth between him and myself. “Is too much too fast,” I continue. “I don’t know anything about you and I don’t even know if you have a girlfriend. I would say this is definitely too much.”

  I suddenly wonder if maybe this is just sex for him, and if so, then why would he care what’s too much or too fast. Maybe he doesn’t think I’m a complete idiot at my admittance. Or maybe that’s exactly what he thinks, shit.

  I bring my hand to my face to hide my embarrassment. When Evan never responds I speak again.

  “I really want to go home Evan.” I break free of his hold. I need to run away and curse myself for being such an idiot.

  “Spend the night with me.” This isn’t a question or a demand. I don’t know what it is, but his eyes are lost and I instantly feel a pull to comfort him.

  “Evan there are so many things that I don’t know about you. I feel like I need time. Take me home.” I cross my arms over my chest.

  I want to run for the hills as this ache creeps into my stomach. There is a cloud of destruction coming and I’m going to be pulled in until there is only a hollow shell. Damn it! He just stares at me.

  “Spit it out Evan.” I gauge his silence and intent look as the inability to say what he really wants to. Most men struggle with the issue of not being able to communicate with their mate well, but this is not the time.

  “Damn it Evan. I don’t even know if you have a girlfriend. I know nothing because you refuse to open up to me and I can’t risk getting hurt, not by you.” I’m sure my face is crimson, caused by my outburst.

  Evan’s eyes never leave mine. My head falls as I feel I’m going to get more time to think than I really want and he will probably never speak to me again.

  “Abby.” He’s silent for a moment. “You are so much better than me. The shit that I ‘keep from you’ is what makes me no good for you. If you knew what was inside of me you would run regardless.” He’s silent again. “I’ll take you home now.” He turns and walks out of the room.

  I realize I’m alone and am contemplating opening the drawer to look at the mysterious picture in the silver frame. I decide against it. If it is a woman, I don’t want that face haunting my sleep. I turn on my heels and pad out of the room, grabbing my cross-body bag and flipping the light switch off.

  “What happened?” Amy asks as I swing open the front door. I don’t answer right away, instead I throw my bag onto the armchair and drop to the couch next to her.

  “Is there any more wine?” I ask as I spot the glass in her hand.

  “Coming right up, now spill doll.” She hands me the glass she has quickly filled.

  “We had the best sex of my life.” I lean back on the couch taking in the evening’s events.

  “Really? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m worried sick about you after you texted me and you are having earth shattering sex.” She raises her perfect eyebrows at me.

  “Well, I…” I don’t know how to approach this conversation with her. She’s always such a brave girl. Amy knows what she wants and has never been afraid go for it.

  I’ve never been good at knowing what I want and even worse at taking something I don’t deserve.

  “Ok, let me get this right. I know you had life altering sex, how can you not with that fucking god, and now you’re home after you were going to stay over there?” She holds her hand in the air as her elbow rests on the back of the couch.

  I nod.

  “You need to stop Abby, he isn’t coming back.” She thinks I’m home because of Marco.

  I can’t help it, I just laugh and not just a little laugh, but a full on belly laugh.

  “What the hell did I say?” she says in shock. She can’t believe I’m losing my mind right in front of her.

  I can’t talk to answer her, I’m just so overwhelmed with these feelings, not even really knowing what they are and now my best friend thinks that I still give a shit about Marco after having Evan. How the hell can I care about someone who was supposed to love me, but instead abandoned me? No, I deserve more than that.

  I demand it.

  I sit up in my seat on the couch now, as I realize I’m having an Ah-Ha moment. Hell, at first I really don’t know why I’m laughing and now I know exactly why.

  Oh my God!

  “What?” Amy huffs.

  “I’m falling in love with Evan,” I spit out before I lose my nerve.

  “Oh shit,” Amy breathes in shock, her eyes bulging out of their sockets.

  “I’m so pissed that Marco left and hasn’t called. I’m pissed that I feel like after three, well technically two and a half, days I can’t breathe without Evan, and I’m pissed that I’m so fucking scared, and honestly I’m even more pissed that I’m not in his bed right now,” I spit in one breath. “So there you have it. I’m a hot mess.”

  Amy is the one laughing now, having just taken a drink of her wine it’s now all over me. I can’t help it, I literally pee my pants from the laughter that comes from deep within my core, and I desperately need it. I need to just let it all go.

  “Hey, are you scared of getting hurt? I mean I understand if you are. I am too,” she says, standing on the outside of my bathroom door.

  I open the door in a rush, turning off the light switch. “Why are you scared?” I have never seen my best friend scared of anything, ever.

  “I’m scared that Dominic is going to realize what a crazy mess I am. I’m not brave all the time Abbs,” she confesses.

  “Well you could have fooled me. You’re the bravest girl I’ve ever met,” I say as she reaches out for a hug. I haven’t realized my best friend is having such a hard time and guilt begins to swim through me.

  “Where is Dom?” I ask as we recover our glasses from the end table.

  “Honestly I don’t know, I haven’t seen him today.” She isn’t hiding her concern now.

  “I really thought that all was good,” I say with surprise in my voice.

  “I think,” she pauses. “Abby do you think there could be someone else. I mean its ok, we aren’t exclusive,” she announces.

  “Amy I don’t think there is anyone else. We have sat right here eating takeout, watching movies and he told me how much he cares for you,” I respond. Amy throws her hands in the air in protest.

  “I don’t know what love does to us, it’s a mess.” She’s clearly hurting and confused. I feel so bad for my friend.

  Amy and I drink the entire bottle of wine and then another. We laugh and cry and sometimes both at the same ti
me. We haven’t done this in so long it is refreshing to just hang out with my friend. We quit drinking around three in the morning when I realize I have to be up for work in three hours.

  I toss Amy the folded blanket and stumble to my room. I plug in my phone and see the picture of Evan that I took of him trying to win me the stuffed frog. A tear falls and my heart jumps.

  I am such an idiot.

  Abby: I’m sorry.

  What if he never wants to speak to me again? What have I done?

  Evan: I know angel.

  He texted after only a minute.

  Maybe he doesn’t hate me after all. Thank God!

  I set my phone on the nightstand and cuddle under my blankets.

  Abby: Goodnight

  Evan: Sweet dreams love

  I set my phone on the nightstand and cuddle under my blankets.

  I’m falling madly in love with him.

  Chapter Ten

  Abby

  The week passed slowly, taking way too long for Friday to arrive and I haven’t heard from Evan. I’ve been bummed all week, every time my phone rings or beeps I hope it’s him and it never is. I asked Dom if he’d seen Evan while he and Amy were here on Wednesday, but he said Evan went out of town and didn’t think he would be back until next week. That was a definite downer. I can call him, but I don’t want to seem desperate.

  Should I call him? Maybe I’ll text him.

  Amy suggested we go to en Fuego tonight but I know she just wants to once again get me out of my funk and for the first time I am actually excited about it.

  She hasn’t made good on her promise to make it all better this week, but I have no desire to go to Brazil anyway. I haven’t thought of anything except Evan. Marco is a distant memory at this point.

  It surprises everyone, including myself that for once I’m not protesting. Amy has gone above and beyond preparing for tonight. She has her parents’ driver for the night and a stunning limo to match. She says we’re going to be two sheets, so I figure the limo is a great idea. She insists that she be my “official” stylist. Yes, she actually called herself my “official” stylist, air quotes and all. The girl is crazy about dressing me like a Barbie. I’ve always thought it is the reason she calls me doll, that being her endearing nickname for me. I am her freaking doll. I laugh to myself and sneak in an eye roll.