Our Sins Read online

  When I look in her direction, I curl up on the inside and then I hear it. Abby’s cry’s echo against the drops of water that stamper against the stone shower floor. My body falters along the wall. She doesn’t see me and I don’t want her to right now. I’ve seen her scared and lost. I’ve seen her confused and unsure of herself. I’ve seen everything that I never wanted to see. I only want to keep her safe in peace where she’s free. Closing my eyes, I imagine her touch against my skin. I feel her love seep through every solid cell of love and hate taking it all in to her every breath. Every cell of my body remembers every touch from this beautiful woman.

  My body becomes erect from the wall and begins a fierce journey towards the shower to the one woman I will save from everything even if it kills me. I’m not afraid it will because I already know it’s gonna happen, it’s simply a matter of time.

  As my foot dips into the warm water pooling on the shower floor, I see her curled up into a ball. I don’t say anything even though I want to know the words that will make this all go away. This life was my choice, not hers, but I don’t know if I can let her go. Can I set her free from this bullshit? Am I strong enough to watch her walk away from me? Can I let her go? My eyes close to the thoughts that run rampant through my fucked up head.

  I bend down with my knees on the shower floor leaving my jeans in the pooling water. She doesn’t know I’m here. My hands reach out to her dripping wet body. When I make contact, I feel her shiver under my touch. Her head slowly raises, and I see the scared girl through the eyes that are distant under my stare. “I’ll never let you down.” I know that these words can’t really be promised, but I’ll at least try like hell to keep this promise to her. I pull her into my body.

  The water beats down on us and I wonder what’s yet to come for our future. The past has brought heartache and pain in unbelievable amounts. The hellacious ending to a wicked beginning. I want to forget, hell I think I want her to forget, again.

  As I slide into a sitting position and pull her into my lap, I look up to the falling water. What would’ve happened if I would’ve walked away when she didn’t know who I was? I couldn’t though, I did try, but it was a fail. I wonder if she would be going on with her life in the way she deserves. Maybe that doctor is better for her than I could ever be. I know he likes her, maybe he could make her happy with a white picket fence. Maybe… I should walk away. I close my eyes to the pelting rain of the shower and realize that’s exactly what I should do. It’s the right thing for her.

  In the darkest of days there comes an hour of hope, an hour of life beating into your soul. The day that light shines on a door that you couldn’t see before. Hope has a time limit. It has a deafening sound ticking in your mind as the seconds pass alerting you that time is almost up in the hourglass. I think that my day of hope is lost. My day of hope is never coming and this is the reason I have to let her go. I don’t see that my future holds anything good for her.

  “Evan,” I hear her whisper against my chest. I don’t answer. She raises her head staring at me. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I suck in a breath wondering if I’d said something out loud. “What?” I ask, hoping to God my thoughts are still only mine.

  Abby pushes away from me, her eyes never breaking their hold. “You think this is your fault,” she says, completely taking me off guard. “Don’t leave me… please.” Her grip on my arms tighten, and if she was standing I know that grip would be the only thing holding her body up. She’s so weak she has to be in shock, and sitting in this water isn’t doing her any good. I push to a standing position pulling her body up with mine. When I step out of the shower, she shivers in my arms. I sit her down on the countertop careful not to step on the broken glass as I reach for a towel wrapping it around her cold, wet body.

  “It’s not your fault, Evan. None of this has been your fault.” My body goes stiff. How does she know that I’m blaming myself? I take a deep breath. “Evan? Look at me.” I turn my head away from her. It’s difficult to look into those eyes when I know what must be done. “Look at me.” Her words are so demanding. “It’s not your fault Evan, this isn’t your fault.” She stares at me, and I only know this because I see her out of the corner of my eye. “Wow, you really think that everything is just going to be perfect without you, huh?” She pauses. “Answer me, Evan.” My hands are still on her body as she pulls away jerking the towel from my hands. “Look at me.” Her hand forces my face to turn towards her. “I don’t care what you’re thinking in there, Evan. I’ll never be happy if you’re not next to me.”

  I finally speak. “I don’t want you to pay for my mistakes, Abby. I don’t want you to be the payback for something that has nothing to do with you.” I wrap the towel tightly around her and then hold her face in my hands. “I love you too much to let that happen.”

  “Okay, I can see that what you’re saying makes sense to you, Evan, but it’s all bullshit to me.” She grabs the towel around her breast and hops off of the counter. She’s standing in front of me for a long hard minute letting a breath escape her beautiful pink lips as she turns leaving the bathroom. I follow behind her keeping my mouth shut. This isn’t how I was hoping things would go, but how the hell can I let shit continue knowing that at any moment because of me, she could be hurt again? “I was right then?” she asks. I stare at her with a sad glow covering my face. “Uh huh, well I guess I was then.” She has no idea what the sad look on her face is doing to me, what this whole thing is doing to my insides. Pulling them apart strand by strand.

  As she walks into the closet, she lets the towel fall from her body revealing every beautiful inch. I realize at that moment I can never accept another man touching her, making her scream with pleasure, causing her to cry out for anyone other than me. No, I can’t ever let her go. I love her. I fucking adore her. If being together is going to cause us to die, then we’ll do it together because fuck if I could ever let her go.

  Before I know what I’m doing, I’ve followed her into the closet. Her arms are above her head reaching for a blouse. Her perky bottom is so fucking beautiful and soft. My dick’s getting hard just looking at her ass. Her breast are large and full, and getting my lips on those nipples is definitely on my list of things to accomplish.

  As I’m stalking every inch of her body, Abby turns in my direction letting her dripping wet hair fall to her back from the side. “You want this?” She licks her lips taunting me because she absolutely knows I want her. ‘Oh fuck.' She turns in my direction reaching her hands to her breast rubbing her nipples with her fingers. “You want to lick my nipples?” She brings her right index finger to her lips getting it wet and then slides it across her skin till it reaches her nipple as she rubs it again. She’s getting off right in front of me. My dick’s in actual fucking pain because of how hard it is and she sees it. She knows what she’s doing, and my God she’s good at it. Her left hand slides from her breast to her pussy. She is amazing.

  “Oh fuck,” I let slip and release the button on my soaked jeans. I pull them down my thighs releasing the rock hard cock from its prison and make my way to her. When I reach her in four long strides, she reaches her hands to my face.

  “I never want to be anywhere other than right here, Evan. I only ever want you inside of me. I only want to come with you inside of me. I only ever want your tongue stripping me of every moan that leaves my lips. If you ever leave me to save me just know it’ll be what kills me.”

  “I need to save you from me.” My lips wrap around hers, my tongue sliding into her hot wet mouth. I take her hands from my face and walk her back towards the wall. I slide my hands to her tight ass squeezing and bring her legs around my waist. Reaching between us I dip my finger into her hot, wet pussy. “Oh my God.” I feel cum slip from the head of my dick. I’m ready to fuck her into oblivion. My entire body’s tingling like I’m on ecstasy or some shit. This is so intense, and I haven’t even sunk into her yet. Abby’s running her tongue along my neck and ear sending the
already intense feeling into a whole new kind of fire leading to every nerve ending.

  Releasing my finger from her, I slide the pooling liquid over her pussy rubbing her clit in circles as her body writhes with satisfaction. When I can’t hold out any longer, I grip my hard as fuck cock and slide just the head into her opening and she shudders. Fuck. I push hard, gripping her ass tight to me as my dick slides in to the hilt. Her head falls back and her eyes lustfully flutter closed, her mouth wide open with fulfillment. I wish I could explain the way she feels. It’s hot and so wet when I’m fully engaged inside. It feels like I’m wrapped in a soft, hot glove squeezing me as I pump inside of her. I try to stay focused on every inch of her body from her breasts and hard nipples that I’m sucking into my mouth with my teeth, to her fucking perfect ass. Oh my god, I want to come so hard. I shove harder and harder inside of her tight pussy feeling her convulse around me. She moans into my neck then bites down on my flesh as she unwinds around me. As I feel her walls clench around my dick, I fall apart with her wrapped tightly in my arms. The orgasm is so intense I lose my balance stumble backwards against the wall, but my momentum never fades. I forcefully grind my dick inside of her, in and out, hard and fast. I know she’s going to come again, but fuck, I can’t stop! I squeeze her ass harder and harder with every jerk of my dick. I’ve never felt anything like this ever. I collapse to the floor pulling Abby down with me, we’re a mess of tangled arms and legs my dick still in her pussy.

  “Don’t stop, Evan,” Abby demands as she takes the reins and grinds her slick pussy up and down my cock. Her wet locks mask her face. Her nipples are hard and erect as they bounce beautifully as she fucks me taking all of me into her hard. “Oh fuck.” She caresses her breast then pulls her nipple between her lips licking the bud. I grab her waist with each hand ramming inside of her over and over as she continues to dip her tongue to her erect nipple.

  My skin’s heated. My orgasm is creeping from my core with electricity shooting to all of my limbs. My balls tingle and tighten as they slap back and forth from the motion. I can’t hold it any longer and without a word I explode inside her tight wet heat for a third time.

  Abby’s hips press in a circular motion riding out her own bliss and then collapses onto my chest. Our already wet bodies are now dripping with sweat from the most amazing sex I’ve ever experienced. She raises her head revealing flushed cheeks squeezing into a smile. “Wow,” she giggles breathlessly, pressing her cheek against my peck. “Wow.”

  “Do you still want to marry me?” I ask. Abby reaches for my hand as she raises her head. “Until death do us part or our sins torment us.” A wicked grin pulls at her pink lips.

  “Our sins will never be too much for our love, angel.”

  “Then I guess it’s you and me forever. I love you, Evan Young.”

  “I love you more, Abigale Hayes.”

  “Ha…” She shakes her head biting her lip. “That’s completely impossible.”

  “Until oblivion it is.” I love her more than she’ll ever know. I smile realizing there’s no way I could ever stay away from her. She’s my soul mate. I was born to love her forever, and I will.

  I’m jolted awake.

  Lubdublubdub.

  My heart pounds violently in my chest. My eyes open wide preparing for something horrible. I wait and wait some more. Lying on my side, I expect to hear the loud sound I’d heard to sound again. The room’s dark, only a few lights from the city of L.A. glowing against the inner wall of our room.

  “Don’t!”

  Lubdublubdub.

  My heart picks up speed. Evan screams from behind me. “You can’t.” He pants short and hard, sounding as if he’s just ran a marathon.

  I quickly roll to my back tugging at the sheet I’d become wrapped in, untangling it from beneath me. Evan’s positioned on his back punching his fist into the air. “Evan?” I get to my knees beside him. Reaching out I pull him to my face and lean in whispering, “Evan.” He pulls from me still breathing heavily, his body covered in sweat. “Evan, wake up it’s just a dream.” Or nightmare. “Evan. Baby. It’s okay, you’re safe.” I cup his flush, wet cheeks. His eyes are tightly closed as if he’s in great pain. I don’t know what to do for him. “Wake up. Evan, wake up.” My hands jostle his chest. His arms grab my wrists squeezing tightly, but I’m patient. Waiting. He won’t hurt me. His eyes open, but I can see that he doesn’t recognize me right away. “Evan, it’s me, baby! It’s Abby.” He blinks several times, adjusting his eyes to the darkness. His nightmares are getting worse. It’s several times a week now. He won’t talk about them, he doesn’t confide in me. He doesn’t want to burden me. It pisses me off.

  “Abby?”

  “Yes. It’s me. You were having a bad dream.” I lean into him trying to give the comfort that he always gives me when I’m the one with the nightmares. In a second he’s leaped forward pushing me towards the end of the bed. Hovering, panting, sweat dripping from his face onto my lips. “Evan?” My heart races rapidly. “I didn’t know what to do.” I never know what to do.

  A smile breaks. It’s gentle. He’s apologizing for something. “You’re everything I need.” He shakes his head as it falls past my belly. A deep breath then another. “I’m tormented in my sleep. Without you to wake up to, I’d be…” His eyes meet mine with another deep breath that he doesn’t release until he speaks again seconds later. “I’m nothing without you. A black hole. No one, Abby. You… you make me who I am, who I want to be. What you see in me makes me want to be that person. I’m not who you think…” His head shakes again. “I’m not the good person you think and that’s what haunts me every single night. You fill my days with light, but when my eyes close the darkness is all I have. The truth of who I am and what I’ve done. I don’t want to be that person anymore.” His body collapses onto mine. The sound of his anguish muffles into my chest. The vibrations of his cries breaking my soul. Tears drift across my face. My hands move to his hair, raking through the messy locks. I’ll be strong for him. I can be strong. I release a breath as my hands fall to his shoulders and he squeezes my body in a tormented grip.

  Raising his head, I see the affliction. “Wash me clean, Abby. Make me forget… for now, please make it go away.” My tears are lost, falling at their own will. I need him to wash me clean just as much as he needs me to do the same for him. I’ll be anything he needs me to be. My hands don’t hesitate this time.

  His lips, my lips, our tongues, hands, legs, sweat, their all taking on a life of their own. Becoming one with our ravishing contact. He reaches inside me with his love, ripping my heart out of my chest keeping it for himself, and I let him. Willingly. My heart’s nothing without him. No permission needed.

  Evan wretches my hands above my head, entangling his fingers with mine gripping tightly, holding on for dear life. My heart swells and an uncontrollable sob slips. I’ve never seen my strong man so vulnerable and vacant of self-worth. His movement’s pause, his eyes meeting mine, and a tear falls from his beautiful blue eyes.

  We say nothing with our words, they mean very little in this moment. Gently, he falls to my mouth dipping his tongue inside. He’s bringing me comfort again and I can’t let that happen. I need to be the comforting one. I need to give this to him. I need him to know he can have me too; take what he needs to take, have what he needs to have.

  Pushing him to the side he stills; questioning my motions with his body. “It’s okay,” I respond, leaning into him so that he falls to his back. Turning my body, I bring myself into a sitting position on top of his naked, wet body. “I want you to take from me. Drink from me. I’m yours, Evan. I’ll always be here for whatever you need.” My eyes fall seeing his hands gripping the white blanket at his sides. My hands gently fall to each of his, bringing one to my breasts and the other to my sex. “Take what you need. Wash yourself clean, Evan.” When I’ve released my hands from his, they move to my waist, hard, pulling, sinking his fingers into my bare flesh.

  He pulls me to his face.
Widening my thighs, he me up to his will. Hot breath blows against my clit sending electricity through my stomach and spine. A dip of his hot, wet tongue invades then again. I reach for my breast. My thighs gripped harder under his force, his fingers indenting the flesh once more.

  The pain doesn’t hurt in a bad way, but it wouldn’t matter if it did. His tongue meets the opening between my folds slowly and gently. Then abandoning it to smooth over my clit. A shiver, deep breath, and wince release from my parted lips, the contact making me crazy. My hips push forward crashing into his mouth wanting, begging for more, demanding it. His grip tightens further pushing me back. A growl resonates in his throat. An animalistic warning that I’m not in charge. I don’t listen, pushing forward once more. The growl is louder, more commanding this time.

  My butt slides against his sweaty chest; his eyes warning me. My tongue darts out to run along the curve of my lip. His hot tongue meets my folds again dipping inside the waiting slit. I’m wet. God, I’m so wet.

  He makes this gesture several times before slowly sliding to my clit applying pressure with circles on the edge of my tiny pulsing nub. The one place that sets me off every time. I writhe above him my hips circling and pressing down at any attempt to find release. His lips wrap around me sucking hard, deep, and controlled. Releasing his mouth; his finger touches, teases it, and then his tongue’s back licking, spreading my juices over my hot folds. His fingers grip forcefully lifting up on my thighs sending me back bringing my bottom to his mouth. A shiver crosses my naked flesh when his tongue slides from my folds to my entrance pressing hard letting me know where he plans to take me. Where he plans to control me, invade me, fill me.