Our Sins Page 8

  “Monica broke into my place and tried to kill me and Abby, but Nat killed her, she protected us.”

  He nods his head. “I’m aware.” His eyes wonder in thought for a minute. “And I’m grateful to her.” He takes a long drink and says, “I’d like a chance to be your father, Evan. I imagine Abigale will become pregnant soon, and I’d like the chance to be a grandfather before I die.”

  I’ve been calm this visit. I’ve sat here listening to the vile spewing from his mouth, but he thinks for one second that I would ever let him near my child? “Never gonna happen.” I stand. “I have to go. You’re sick and twisted. Don’t think for one moment you’ll ever have anything to do with our children.” I push my chair away from the table hearing the metal legs grind against the floor. The day he ever has anything to do with my family is the day Hell freezes over.

  “Boss.” Tony nods as I walk out of the bar. Tony and Michael have been waiting outside while I had my little chat with Thomas.

  “Everything good, bro?” Michael asks.

  “Just some father son bonding time,” I answer sarcastically. We walk out of the hotel and my phone rings. Noticing it’s about one in the morning, I answer, “Yeah?”

  “The angel’s tucked safe inside her room,” Skits says.

  “Thanks.” A breath of relief releases as I disconnect the call.

  “All good?” Michael asks.

  “Yeah, they’re safe and sound.”

  Michael nods. “You ready to have some fun?” His grin is cheesy. He rubs his hands together like a fucking cricket and I know then he’s excited.

  “Here?” Vegas has gotten me in a lot of trouble in my past. I can’t have that in my life with Abby depending on me.

  “Hell yeah, how often do we get to hit Vegas baby?”

  “Not tonight.” Not ever.

  “This hotel, though.” Nat lays back covered from head to toe in brown mud.

  “I know right! Ah, this is so relaxing.” We’re taking full advantage of the hotel amenities.

  We’ve had massages, Mani’s, Pedi’s, facials, and now were covered in a full-body mud substance. They’d told us it’ll remove all the toxins from our bodies. I’m down for that.

  “I don’t want to be that medaling family member, but I need to know how you’re doing.” Why the hell cant people leave me alone about my fucking feelings? I’m fine.

  I focus on the lady that had covered us in this crap for a moment.

  “Nat?”

  “Yeah?”

  I turn my head watching my sister, wanting to ask her about her past. I don’t want to push, though. Now I’m the medaling family member.

  “What?” She looks at me when I don’t answer.

  “I just wanted to know about… I was just curious about your past.”

  “You want to know why I’m so fucked up.” It isn’t a question.

  “No! I just want to know about you.”

  “I don’t think you’re ready for that story quite yet, Abby. It’s dark and twisted. Filled with ugliness.”

  “I’d like to hear it if you‘d like to tell it,” I continue.

  She turns gaging my expression that she can’t really see since I’m covered in mud, so I smile.

  “Okay. When I was a young girl I was molested by my step-farther. My mom didn’t know because I didn’t tell her. She worked so hard for me. The town we lived in was poor and barely even had running water. We didn’t have running water in our house, but there were a few homes in the neighborhood that did, I think. Trash lined the streets. Nothing like this hotel that’s for sure.” She lays back on the lounge chair.

  “One day my mom died. I don’t know how or why. My step-father was there to tell me when I got home from school. He said she had an accident. I only assume he killed her. A beating gone wrong. We took many of those. That was a really bad time for me. A child with no one to love them.”

  Tears stream along the mud that lines my face. I had no idea. I want to reach out for her. Apologize for her past. Hug her and tell her she’ll never have to worry about having people to love her again. But instead I listen.

  “I did have a friend. She knew what I was going through. She helped me escape from my bedroom window. She gave me what money she had. It was very little, but that was a huge thing for her to do for me. We were very poor. Sometimes eating only once a week.” Her body begins trembling.

  “When I left, it was for good. No going back. I fell into the wrong hands. People that took a girl like me in and turned them into whores. Slaves. Sex rings. I was locked in a cage for several days.”

  “Oh my God.” I can’t believe I just let that slip.

  She pauses and then continues. “There was a sergeant that beat me regularly. That was his job. But there was one guy that was nice to me. I knew if I wanted free, if I had even a little chance to escape I had to play my part. Be the good girl. So I did.” She pauses again to take in my crippled reaction. I can’t believe what she’s telling me. “You okay?”

  “Huh? Me? I’m fine.” Holy crap she was right. I’m not ready to hear this story. “Is this how you became such a strong woman?”

  She laughs. “Seriously? You think I’m strong, Abby?”

  “Yes. The strongest. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

  “That’s what I want you to think.” Her eyes shift with a smile creeping onto her lips, then she gives a wink. “I’m just a girl. Like you, I’ve been through hell. I worked through it somehow. I think my mother has always been there to protect me. My guardian angel. I guess.” Her shoulders lift with her deep breath.

  “Yes. I believe in guardian angels, too.” I nod my head. “How did you get out of that cage?”

  She lays back again recalling. “I had to play the part of an obedient girl. I wasn’t of course, but that’s the whole idea of playing the part, isn’t it? I did what I had to do. I always do what needs to be done for the greater good. I guess.”

  “Are there really organized sex rings?”

  “Oh yeah. It’s actually really bad in the U.S. One day I’m going to shut them down.” She stares off out the window. “One day I’ll bring them down.”

  “I believe you, Nat. I can’t think of a better person to do just that.” I lean into the lounge chair taking in a deep breath. “Thank you.”

  “For?”

  “For sharing that with me. I knew you had a tough life, but I had no idea what it really was you went through. I’m sorry for that. I wish it could’ve been different for you.”

  “Nah. Don’t be sorry for me. Be sorry for the girls that never got out. Be sorry for them. I have a wonderful life. I’m truly blessed.”

  “Yeah.” She reaches her hand out for mine. She’s never done that before. She’s not a very touchy-feely person. And now I understand why.

  “It’s been a very long time since I’ve had a friend, Abby. I’m really happy my brother found you.”

  I smile.

  Nat goes on with a few more stories, and I’m literally on the edge of my seat listening to them. She’s been through even more than I thought. Wow. How does someone survive something that horrific? She’s so brave and strong. I’m in awe of the struggles she’s survived.

  “Now you know why I’m so fucked up.” She laughs.

  “No. You’re just a girl.” I smile giving a wink of my own. She is just a girl. A girl that understands how dark the world can be and dedicates herself at making it a little bit better for others.

  “Yeah. I’m just a girl.” She squeezes my hand.

  I’ve never seen such a sensitive side to Nat before. She’s always been a rock. Always the one to keep everyone focused and strong. Underneath it all she is just a girl.

  Amy runs to the bathroom clutching her hand to her mouth. I’m really worried about her. “Mom, is she okay to do this? I think she should be in bed,” I say walking to the bathroom door. “Amy are you okay?” I knock.

  “Oh yeah, doll, I’m good,” she answers, opening the door. “I must ha
ve the flu. I wouldn’t miss this day for anything in the world. Nothing could keep me away from seeing my best friend, my sister, marry the man of her dreams. Hell, he’s the man of my dreams.” She wipes her mouth with a white cloth, a weak laugh escaping. “No one deserves this more.”

  “It’s probably that sushi.” Nat pops her head in from the adjoining room. “I told you to stop while you were ahead,” she scoffs. “Imagine that. Natalia was right,” she mutters to herself having already disappeared back into the other room.

  “Are you sure, Amy? You just look so under the weather, dear.” My mom adds.

  “I’m perfect, I promise, Alison.” Amy smiles weakly. She says she’s okay so I’ll leave it.

  “Thirty minutes until show time ladies.” Andre, the wedding planner, buzzes in. He’s dressed to the nines, looking better than the bride for crying out loud. He’s wearing his grey tuxedo and purple tie finished with the perfect knot. “Abigale, your man’s out there, and I’m going to have to say that if you’re thinking of running, don’t. He’s definitely the hottest groom I’ve ever seen and honey, I’ve seen plenty, okay.” He laughs, revealing his beyond perfect smile.

  “No worries, I’m never letting that man get away.” I wink.

  “Okay then, honey, why are we not ready for this amazing wedding? The church is filled with impatiently waiting people that want to see the most beautiful bride ever!” He claps his hands together enthusiastically and says, “Chop, chop.”

  “Can I have a moment with my daughter please?” my mom asks. Andre and Amy scurry into the adjoining room and close the door behind them.

  “I wanted to give you something,” my mom says reaching into her bag. “After you were born I was shopping with you and Addie.” She pauses wiping away a tear from her eye. “I thought I’d have a chance to have this moment with the both of you.” She approaches me taking my hand. “I saw these beautiful blue sapphire earrings in the jewelry store that day while having my wedding ring cleaned. There was a mother shopping for her daughter’s wedding. I couldn’t help myself. I bought a pair for each of you girls. I know this sounds silly, but I wanted so much for your futures. I’ve never known love like I did when you girls were born.” She reaches for my dark falling locks that cascade over my shoulder. “You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. I’m so proud of you, baby girl.”

  Bittersweet tears stream down my face, and I’m grateful Amy insisted on waterproof mascara. I wish Addie were here for this moment. I sigh. “They are so beautiful.” The small sapphire stones sparkle in the light of the room. My mom hands them to me one by one as I place them into my ears. They’re so perfect. I’m not a big jewelry kind of girl, but these are just right. “I love them, thank you.” I turn from the mirror and kiss her cheek.

  “Well, you have your something blue and now for the old. This is your Grandma Nichols’ handkerchief. This was my something old when I married your father and now it’s yours. When your little girl gets married, you’ll pass it on to her.” She folds the white cotton into a tiny square tucking into my bra. “Keep it close, I’m sure there will be a tear or two shed tonight.” Her smile is soft, sad, and happy all at the same time. “Well then, get the girls. We have a dress to get you into.” She turns away, I’m sure she’s gathering herself.

  “Mom?” She stills looking in my direction again. “I’ve never thanked you for giving me such a wonderful life.” I take her hands into mine. “I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. I hope I’m able to make you proud.” We sob quietly tucking each other in our arms.

  “Okay, enough tears, get going.” She leans back waving her arms rushing me out while trying to keep it together emotionally. Turning my body, my eyes roam over their faces before I speak. I tell them that I’m ready to marry the man of my dreams. I’m ready to never leave his side. I’m ready to give him my soul, the soul he’s already devoured.

  Sweat drips from my face. It’s so damn hot in here. I adjust my purple tie. This tux is killing me, but I’d wear anything for Abby. Hell, I’d stand in this church wearing absolutely nothing if that’s what she wanted.

  Abby has my heart. She claimed it the very first time I’d touched her. I’ve been consumed by her breathless presence from that first touch of her skin. She took me into her arms and never let go. She’s accepted me, the real me. What I let her know about the real me. She’s going to be my wife.

  I shake my head as that realization hits me. Really fucking hits me. Finally, my heart will be securely locked with hers forever. As my head raises from my sweaty hands, I see the cathedral doors open. The ushers speak with a few men that step in.

  “Is that who I think it is?” Michael leans in asking.

  I take in one deep breath.

  Two deep breaths.

  I’m standing at least two hundred feet away. My eyes adjust to the distance darting from the first man entering the cathedral to the one that follows. I take in the slight bulge at the waist of the expensive suits.

  Another deep breath.

  My father, Thomas Carter enters, his head down, hands together, following the two men he’d entered with. My body jolts off the Alter steps heading in his direction. I take long angry strides. My heart pounds, thumps, beats out of my chest, heating my face as it pounds through my ears. I don’t think or don’t judge the scene. I just want them out.

  I don’t hesitate as I meet them by the large cathedral doors. “Get the fuck out!” I growl throwing my arm at the entrance they’d just entered through. A few of the people that’re close enough to hear gasp in disbelief that I’d just said ‘fuck’ in this cathedral.

  “Evan, calm down. I just want to see you get married.” He speaks the words like he believes them. I don’t. I know Thomas Carter always has an ulterior motive.

  “You don’t have any family here.” My angel will not be the pawn in the sick sadistic games he plays.

  “Get. The. Fuck. Out. Now!” I demand, realizing I’m causing a scene and while I don’t care if I do, I don’t want that for Abby on her day. Reaching out I grab his arm shoving him out of the cathedral. “Get out!” I sneer, pushing them through the large wooden doors.

  Thomas adjust his suit taking a deep breath. “You once asked me for the truth, Evan.” He nods at the two that’re at his side signaling them to get lost. “Do you want the truth, Evan?” His eyes are hard on mine waiting for a response. I’ve asked him many times for so many truths. I’ve learned, though, that our truths have different meanings. What may be true to him is complete bullshit to me. I lock my eyes with his, my heart pounds harder.

  Lubdublubdublubdub.

  Sweat drips from my forehead. I reach for my neck adjusting the chaffing collar.

  “Excuse me, Gentleman… Gentleman… I realize I’m not privy to what’s going on here, but…” Andre’s approach only slightly pulls my attention. He whispers as his eyes wonder from our scene to the hall Abby will soon be walking through. “We have a bride preparing the most amazing entrance.” He smiles. “We wouldn’t want Andre to…” He fumbles his hands in the air looking for his next choice of words. “Uh… Have a crazy wedding planner moment would we?” He smiles. This dude is not playing’, he means business. “A happy bride makes Andre happy. An upset bride makes Andre very upset. Now get your asses inside.” His tone thickens at the end showing us he’s serious.

  “Senator?” Thomas’ security detail ask approaching the doors. “Will you be staying, sir?” He asks again. Thomas watches me, searching for the answer only I can give. I want to cut his throat right now, just to get this shit over with. My fists clench at my sides.

  I want to know things, things that only Thomas can answer and this may be the only way. “Fuck,” I hiss under my breath. Closing my eyes tight, I say, “If you approach her, I will rip your fucking head off where you stand. Are we clear? I don’t even want her to know you’ve come here. Understood?”

  “Understood,” He agrees. I step away turning for the doors. “Son?” I grip the ornate
handle tight enough to rip it off from the wood. “Thank you for giving this to me. It will not be forgotten.” Taking a deep breath, I pull the heavy door open looking toward Andre’s death glare. My feet move, finding their way back towards the alter. I’ll let him stay, for my own selfish reasons I’ll let him stay.

  “What’s dear ole’ dad doing here?” Michael asks quietly, leaning in.

  I smile towards the passing couples that find their seats as I adjust my cufflinks. “He wants to watch his son get married.” I don’t give further detail. It isn’t the time. The little old ladies are watching me as they whisper amongst themselves.

  I can’t believe the dumb shit I’d just pulled in a church of all places. Some shit you just don’t do and that’s probably one of them. I knew that. But Thomas walks in here like he belongs and he doesn’t. He ran Abby and Addie over all those years ago. This isn’t the day I want all that she’s worked so hard to leave behind to come rushing back.

  Thomas has never been one for the family dramatics. Hell, I think he’d used the same words over and over ‘Business comes first.’ He’d definitely said more than once. But always leading his campaign with ‘Family first.’ How the hell people believe that shit is beyond me. Fucking mind blowing.

  Once I’ve been tucked inside the long, full, white, princess gown and I’ve had my moment with the girls Andre leaves to announce to the quire that I’m ready to walk down the aisle.

  The walk to the chapel is so unnerving. My stomach’s tied in so many ways. I just want to kiss him and run off together forever. Amy hands me the small bouquet of white roses as she and Nat take their places to proceed down the aisle as my maid-of-honors. I didn’t want either to feel left out so I insisted it was my wedding and I could make the rules, therefore, they were both going to get the title for the day.